Mere Cognition

Today has been a busy one, so thankfully, Proverbs 30's first four verses might be able to stand on their own.

Verses 1-4

The man declares, I am weary, O God;
  I am weary, O God, and worn out.
Surely I am too stupid to be a man.
  I have not the understanding of a man.
I have not learned wisdom,
  nor have I knowledge of the Holy One.
Who has ascended to heaven and come down?
  Who has gathered the wind in his fists?
Who has wrapped up the waters in a garment?
  Who has established all the ends of the earth?
What is his name, and what is his son's name?
  Surely you know!

Verse 1 has some translational challenges in that it could actually be addressing two people instead of weariness; with that in mind, I do empathize with weariness. It's especially moving considering that the passage ends with an allusion to Jesus. Matthew 11:28-30:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Once again, we're reminded of humility by this writer's opening stanzas. For every small nugget of truth or wisdom I hear or learn, regardless of where it comes from, it often reminds me of how little I really know or understand. To say that my brain is kind of hardwired to remind myself of my own stupidity is a bit of an understatement.

There's an odd juxtaposition in that. I was recently talking with a person who mentioned that I sounded a bit arrogant when I was relating something new that I had learned. I started to correct him and stopped. In that moment, I realized something - I think I have an issue with my verbal delivery. I changed direction and starting asking him if he could explain why, because I wanted to understand what I was doing. He couldn't really explain what he meant by it, so instead I asked him some more questions. When queried on whether it seemed more like I was excited about what I'd learned or if I was condescendingly explaining what I learned. He told me it was the latter.

We then drifted off into a conversation about tone and intonation in speech, and he affirmed that yes, I may have been excited to convey something new I'd learned, but it sounded more like someone who knew everything having to annoyingly teach an introductory course. That hit me like a giant lead brick.

One can think one way, and actualize it another. It's another form of double-mindedness. I can't see or hear myself as an outside observer, so I never really realized that I was doing it.

As an introvert, I'm very thankful that people are willing to point out these things to me. Of course, my impatience makes me wish it hadn't taken 40 years to happen, but it's all in God's time, who has the looong term in view.