Mere Cognition

To repent is to "turn away from". It is not a passive action, it is an active walking away from that which is wrong. You do it not because it is easy, but because it is right. Repentance is almost always difficult because oftentimes it requires excision of that part of you that craves and condones that thing you need to be rid of that's slowly killing you.

This is the basis for the understanding that repentance is granted from God; it's not something that we can do. Because oftentimes, we are too blinded or myopic to recognize the things that need repenting of. And even if we are aware of them, the allure and comfort of that familiar (no matter how completely it poisons us) is so overpowering that we will willfully walk back to that comfort that we know even if we intellectually recognize the danger. And the more you give in and feed it, the more ingrained that pathway becomes and the process is easier and easier to do, and harder and harder to walk away from. This is what makes childhood trauma, or even just an upbringing not rooted in scripture, so dangerous. When these pathways are set within the malleable, plastic mind of a child and left to solidify, it becomes nearly impossible to rectify later in life. Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

He doesn't depart from it because it has become his life; it is effectively him. And there's no way you can remove that from him without severely damaging his entire grasp of reality. He will rebel against anything that even remotely threatens this core part of his being, protecting the cancer that is killing him because the cancer is all he knows. The only one that can surgically excise that is God. And it will be assuredly painful in a way that few truly understand. Because you will effectively lose what you believe to be yourself. God knows better though, because He knows us more intimately than that. He sees past the trauma and is willing to put you through that hell and rebuild you on the other side, for your good. And let me just say, when you can finally see clearly again, sunrises are more beautiful than you ever remember. The soft cool light of the full moon is warmer than you ever thought it could be. The genuine smile of a child is more joyful to your soul than a trillion dollars. The vulnerable bearing of a heart is enough to bring you to tears of empathy and rememberance of your own undeservedness.

When God grants repentance, on the turning away, everything changes in ways that we can never fathom until we experience them. Feeling sorry is just another insidious form of selfishness. When you're willing to ask God, even beg Him, to drive all iniquity from you no matter the cost, you won't be prepared for what He may do to bring that about. But rest assured, on the other side, you will more likely choose the turning away from what needs repenting of, rather than be willing to poison yourself with fleeting comfort that it will bring.

God is mightier to save.

He must increase, but I must decrease. —John 3:30

If you become a necessity to someone else’s life, you are out of God’s will. As a servant, your primary responsibility is to be a “friend of the bridegroom” (John 3:29). When you see a person who is close to grasping the claims of Jesus Christ, you know that your influence has been used in the right direction. And when you begin to see that person in the middle of a difficult and painful struggle, don’t try to prevent it, but pray that his difficulty will grow even ten times stronger, until no power on earth or in hell could hold him away from Jesus Christ. Over and over again, we try to be amateur providences in someone’s life. We are indeed amateurs, coming in and actually preventing God’s will and saying, “This person should not have to experience this difficulty.” Instead of being friends of the Bridegroom, our sympathy gets in the way. One day that person will say to us, “You are a thief; you stole my desire to follow Jesus, and because of you I lost sight of Him.”

Beware of rejoicing with someone over the wrong thing, but always look to rejoice over the right thing. “…the friend of the bridegroom…rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:29-30). This was spoken with joy, not with sadness— at last they were to see the Bridegroom! And John said this was his joy. It represents a stepping aside, an absolute removal of the servant, never to be thought of again.

Listen intently with your entire being until you hear the Bridegroom’s voice in the life of another person. And never give any thought to what devastation, difficulties, or sickness it will bring. Just rejoice with godly excitement that His voice has been heard. You may often have to watch Jesus Christ wreck a life before He saves it (see Matthew 10:34).